Alone in This World
by Sushi Hoshi
Summary: n/a
1. Alone in This World

Alone in This World

By Robin Wright

  
  
  
  


Author's Note: I don't know where I came up with this one. It started as a monologue, but then I didn't know what to do with it. This is what I ended up with. If you don't like how it ends, don't flame me. I like both Zelda and Malon. If you're going to say something negative about this, make it constructive. I ignore all stupid flames for I find them to be a waste. Enjoy the story and please do review after you read!- Robin Wright 

  
  


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"My life. What is there to say about it? Some think that I lead an interesting existence. I walk down the street and people call to me, say hello, ask for my autograph. I always refuse. It's not just due to the fact that I'm illiterate. (What, you never noticed that Navi always had to read things for me?) I don't feel like signing their bits of paper. I don't feel like getting the attention. I never asked to be a so-called hero. I never asked.

  
  


"Which leads me to wonder why I'm here in the first place. If the position of Hero of Time called for someone valiant, and honest, and true and all of that other stuff, I could name a few people who would much better serve to fill the position than me. I'm just... not hero material. I don't feel like one. I never have. I've always been the outcast, the odd one, the silent watcher. How did I get here in the first place?

  
  


"I remember the first time I was sent into a temple to help a sage. I hated it. Of course, I was going in to find the one I loved like a mother and a best friend. Yeah, I wanted to find her. But in my heart I was still a boy, a child who had lost his way somewhere. That's what I still am. 

  
  


"I remember stepping into that meadow and seeing that my friend, my surrogate mother was no where to be seen. Her song no longer played. All around me there was the sound of crows and groaning creatures. The wind blew through the leaves in the trees, hissing at me, daring a frightened boy to enter. It was against my wishes that I went in. I hated all of those temples. Ungodly, unnamed things always making a grab at my throat, wishing for nothing more than that of my imminent and quick death. The thought of the things I encountered gives me nightmares to this day, even in a different reality than the one I never lived.

  
  


"What should I be complaining about? You might ask. I'm not complaining, but I guess I'm not reflecting either. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm just a little boy who lost his way somewhere. Maybe I would be different if I had not lost my mother. Saria did a great job, but she wasn't the same. I don't have that many memories of her, my mother. I do know that she used to sing to me. I don't remember what it was that she sang, but the tones still linger in the back of my mind sometimes. Mornings when I least expect it, I wake up suddenly, feeling like she is stroking my hair from my forehead, whispering to me. When I open my eyes and say "mother" I realize that she is not there. She never was there. Not when it counted.

  
  


"No, I'm not angry at her. She couldn't help it that she died. It wasn't her fault. In fact, I think that if anyone should be blamed, it is me. Why did she die in the first place? She was trying to save me. I was the one with the "destiny." I was the one who was Hyrule's last hope. I was the one who had to lose everything of real value so that everyone else could live in peace. All I want is my mother. Is it too much to ask? You would think that after doing them such a big favor, the Goddesses would give me one small request. That's not how things work though, is it?

  
  


"Sometimes I feel bitter. Then this anger wells up in me. It's of such a nature that I feel like going out into the forest and punching my fist through a tree. I want to pick up boulders and smash them into the woods. One time, I got so angry about things that I snapped. I was having a bad moment in my treehouse when one of the Kokiri boys decided to bother me. I was sitting there on my bed, minding my own business and I was suddenly pelted in the forehead with a spitball. It stuck there, and I looked up. A boy was giggling wildly, pea shooter in hand, jumping off of my front porch. I sat there fuming for a moment, then got up calmly. I walked out onto my porch and went down the ladder. I think I was about 15, before I knew how to fully control myself. 

  
  


"Well, I went over to his house (he was one of the Know-It-All Brothers) and I yanked their sign out of the ground. I split it into pieces with my hands and dropped it in a heap. I then used Din's Fire to set it ablaze. I stalked off into the forest after that and didn't return for about four days. The anger had taken complete control and being by my lonesome was the only way I could keep myself from harming an ignorant Kokiri. I'm not a violent guy, and I didn't want to do something I would regret. Like I said, sometimes, the anger of loss totally consumes me.

  
  


"Then there's the issue of love. I don't know about love. I truly don't. Not love for a woman. I love Saria like a mother, as I said before, but not as a girlfriend or lover or anything. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of love of that sort. I have nothing to give. All I would do is take. I don't feel like a great passionate romantic like some girls like to make me out to be. I don't feel this amazing fervor of affection well within my being. I don't want to kiss anyone. I don't want to sleep with anyone. Not Zelda, not Malon, and especially not Ruto. I've had offers, but I've never taken them. Never even considered. Zelda offered me Hyrule. She offered me her heart, her undying devotion and physical attraction. I turned her down without a thought. Malon offered me a lovely and cozy home. A beautiful wife and all of the food I would ever need. Not to mention a sympathetic ear. I turned her down too.

  
  


"Why? I don't think I deserve such affections. I don't deserve to keep a woman's heart, the most precious thing that any female can give. Women are sensitive, and I'm sure that all I would do is screw up. I screw everything up. There's not one thing I can do right. After all, I got my mother killed, and I wasn't even a year old. It was all of my fault. If it weren't for me, both of my parents would still be alive. Perhaps I would even have a sister. Or a brother. I wouldn't be alone in this world that I saved but do not deserve. I wouldn't be so full of hurt, bitterness, regret. I wouldn't be so confused. It doesn't matter that I got to repeat the last ten years. It doesn't make any difference that I had a chance to grow up. I still feel like the same frightened old Link. The same scared little boy who lost his way somehow, somewhere. I am perpetually the lonely one without a wife, a mother, or a chance at peace. I'm pathetic."

  
  


"Link, you're not pathetic."

  
  


He turned and looked into Malon's eyes after going on with his little rant. 

  
  


"Were you even listening to me?"

  
  


"Yes."

  
  


He turned away. 

  
  


"I don't understand your view."

  
  


"Link, don't be so hard on yourself. For Goddess' sake, you saved our world! Give yourself at least a little credit!"

  
  


"I don't deserve credit. I could be better in so many ways..."

  
  


"We could all be better in many ways, but we're not. No one is perfect."

  
  


"Well, I'm one of the worse."

  
  


"No, you're not. And I do think you're capable of love, I know you are."

  
  


Link looked down at the grass where they sat. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly.

  
  


"Malon, do you love me?"

  
  


She turned her face to the sky and gazed at the stars. 

  
  


"As a friend, yes."

  
  


"Just as a friend?"

  
  


"Well, how do you want me to love you, Link?"

  
  


"I-I'm not sure. If you did love me, well, I might..." he trailed off.

  
  


"You might what?"

  
  


"I might hurt you."

  
  


"How? I don't think you'd want to hurt me."

  
  


"It's not that I want to. I might do it unintentionally. Like I said before, I screw everything up. I don't deserve love. Especially not yours. Not that you even love me at all.."

  
  


Malon put a hand on his shoulder. Link turned to face her and she looked deep into his sapphire eyes.

  
  


"Link, I have always loved you."

  
  


Both sat in understanding quiet.

  
  


"I think I've always loved you too," he said after a bit.

  
  


Slowly, they drew closer and kissed. Malon wrapped her arms around Link's neck and he pulled her close. They hugged for a while, then lie down on the grass to gaze once again at the stars.

  
  


"Malon?"

  
  


"Yes?"

  
  


"Thank you."

  
  


She smiled and touched his hand.

  
  


"You're welcome Link. You're welcome."

  
  


They lied there holding hands and watching the stars till the morning arrived in the east. 


	2. The Curse of Infinity

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Curse of Infinity

By Robin Wright

  
  
  
  


Author's Note: Well, I liked "Alone in This World" and I also liked putting down Link's deeper and human thoughts. So, I decided to continue it. This is rather short, but it is what came to my mind. Please do enjoy it and R&R when you are through. Bon sante. - Robin Wright

  
  
  
  


I left Malon's soon after the sun rose. It was so beautiful, the way it peaked on the horizon, red, full, a glowing orb of clean fire. I trudged home as that ball of light drew higher and higher in the azure sky. When I reached my treehouse, I crashed onto the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

  
  


All my life I've had dreams. Everyone has them, I know, but the unusual thing is that I have mostly nightmares. I dream about things that no one would want to see. I wish I could have a good dream more often. A lot of people think I'm smart, suave, mentally sound as steel. I hate to say that I am not. I've had so many nervous breakdowns over the course of my existence that I can't count them without the aid of an abacus. Why am I so, for lack of a true description, unstable? To be honest with you...

  
  


I'm not sure.

  
  


I'm not sure of anything at all. I don't know why I'm here. I have no idea why I live, why I breathe, fear, hate, long, weep. I don't know why I was given the option to be. Sometimes I contemplate my life, what it's really about. Was I born for the sole purpose of being a hero? And if that's so, once my job is done, am I simply going to expire, disappear, waste away? Will I become a nothing? The epiphany of nonexistence? I wish I knew.

  
  


Despite my wondering, I think I am doomed to forever repeat my every minute. I will probably never die. Why can't I have that privilege? I worry about death, for that seems better than an eternal existence in this life I've been cursed with. Wanting to die may sound insane to some, but I have repeated my years so many times - gone from child to adult, adult to child, back to adult, then thrust back to the past to live the horrible ten years all over again with Termina in the middle - it's gotten tiring. While my body remains young and in its prime of vitality, my mind has grown old. It is horrible to live in a world where you have to do things over and over. Meeting your friends several times, with them remembering nothing about you. They are prone to the effects of time, but it still hurts for your friends of twenty-five or more years to look at you and say, "Do I know you?"

  
  


Currently, I'm living in my third reality. That's right, thirty years of this shit. I'm fed up, to make an immense understatement. Thirty years and I have never learned to read. I should learn though. Thirty years and I still miss my mother. I look in the mirror and wonder how much of my parents is there. You see, I repeat only a certain ten years. I can never repeat the years that matter to me. I can never see my father or my mother again. I know my self better than anyone else in the world, but when I look at my reflection every morning, I see a sad, hardened, lonely stranger. I have a face that I do not know and can never recognize, for I do not know my family. They are the only people in the world, in all that is, that I truly want to know. Yes, the flow of time is harsh, painful. I am a wandering soul who can remember everything that has never happened as far as everyone else knows. Some have grown afraid of me, for they think I posses mystic powers. I know who is going to die when. I know what house will catch fire where. I know events before they happen. Why shouldn't I? I've seen it three times already. You don't forget things that easily. But I've learned to keep my mouth shut. That's partially why not everyone treats me like a plague.

  
  


In fact, my main problem is that I can never be alone when I need to be. All of the time I feel so empty, sad, forsaken. Yet, I'm surrounded by girls following me in the town when I'm there to buy simple things like new hose or a bowstring. I smile at them and try to act interested when they tell me about how nice I look. None of them could ever understand me. Not if they tried for thirty years. I guess I do love Malon, as I told her I did. I'm pretty sure that's how love feels. But I see a paradox. As I have said, I've been here for thirty years and more, repeating everything. Despite my longevity, I still am not certain of love. It is an incapability of comprehension on my part. Despite all of the time I've been around, going back and forth, I have not figured love out. Or rather, I haven't had a _chance_ to figure it out. I think the repetition of everything is what forbids me from experiencing the companionship that I crave. That is why I have said that I do not deserve love. I f I did deserve it, I would have taken the time to pursue it by now. 

  
  


It is a lonely life, to know where you're going to go, what you're going to do, who you're going to meet. It is hard to wake up in the morning with all of this knowledge of things. It is a burden heavier than any other I know. Have you ever had the experience of looking at a person and knowing that they are going to die in the next five minutes? Even if you try to save them? Believe me, I have tried to stop fate, tried to save someone from dying who was supposed to. When I get them out of the way of a charging bull or save them from being impaled by a sword accidently dropped from a window, they take a bite of something and choke to death. Or they trip over a loose stone in the pavement and crack their head open. Fate always gets them, just as it always gets me. I have control of literally nothing, which is why I know I am doomed to save Hyrule for eternity. I am locked in a perpetual rut, a loop that never ends. I don't think I will ever break free. . . 


End file.
